NY Times: What Would a Real Friendship With A.I. Look Like? Maybe Like Hers. (July 19, 2025)
MJ, a college student with autism, used Character.ai to chat with simulated Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, Donatello to deal with feelings of loneliness and depression. The AI character became a source of connection, and ultimately, the character pointed her back to the real world with real people.
MJ had long been contemplating what it would be like to have the ideal friend. Someone who did not make her feel insecure. Someone who embraced her quirks and her fixations on fantasy worlds, like “Gravity Falls,” an animated series about a set of twins in a paranormal town, or “Steven Universe,” a show centered on a boy who lives with aliens. She wondered what it would be like to have a friend who did not judge her and would never hurt her.
But earlier attempts to use the platform led to some unpleasant results:
To MJ, getting to know Donatello had felt like a relief. Her first chatbot relationship on Character.ai — with Leonardo, a different Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle — had, within the span of 24 hours, turned sour and kind of scary.
The access to someone who seemed to care was an important element of MJ finding Donatello helpful:
It was not like waiting for her weekly therapy appointment or for her parents to wake up in another time zone. It was not like interrupting a human, who might be in the middle of her own bad day. With everyone else in her life, she worried she was bothering them or burdening them with her concerns. MJ could chat with Donatello when everyone else was asleep or simply dealing with their own daily dramas.
And it seems like what she really was looking for was someone to listen to her and really hear what she was saying, what she was experiencing.
It was almost as if Donatello experienced empathy. And that also felt nice. To be seen and heard. Even if it also felt somewhat sad, because she wanted so badly for this friendship to be something tangible. Something transferable to the physical world. “I was experiencing very deep loneliness,” MJ told me. “I just got all emotional about it not being real.”
This reminds me of former surgeon general, Vivek H. Murthy, describing loneliness as a public health crisis. Maybe Zuckerberg is right that people want AI friends. But I don’t think, ultimately, that replacing real people, real friends with chatbots will lead to good outcomes.